The Subtle Difference Between People Who Figure It Out and People Who Don't

It's not talent. It's not work ethic. It's this

I’ve spent a lot of time around people with big dreams. People who are trying to build something great. Whether it’s their business, network, bank account, physique or a life that actually feels like they choose it.

After almost a decade of intentional observation, I’ve noticed something. The difference between these two groups almost never comes down to what you’d expect.

It’s not talent. It’s not resources. It’s not even the all powerful work ethic that so many say is the key to success. While these things matter, there is another subtle difference between those that figure it and out and those that never do.

Those who figure it out develop a unique relationship with discomfort and uncertainty.

Let’s break this down.

---

They act before they’re ready - People who don’t figure it out — in business, fitness, relationships — are always in preparation mode. They get a dopamine hit off of telling themselves they’re going to do something and not actually doing it. Some variation of “I’ll wait one more month” is the common theme here. Those that figure it out have a bias towards motion. They just do the thing. They’ve deduced - often from direct personal experience — that clarity comes from acting and you can only learn from taking the step into the arena.

A fisherman cannot be a success if he spends all his time preparing the boat to catch some fish. The fruits of his labor are in the act itself. Not waiting. There is a time and place for good preparation but those residing in the purgatory of inaction are the same ones not figuring out it.

They’ve redefined their relationship with failure - Failure to those that figure it out is not moving. Failure to those who don’t figure it out is anything that makes them look or feel bad. People who figure it out don’t necessarily enjoy failure but they recognize it as a part of the process and they certainly don’t treat it as a life sentence. Those that don’t never recovered from that one time they failed and consciously or subconsciously brought it into every other aspect of their life.

I’ve failed businesses. I’ve wasted time. I’ve lose money. I’ve been injuried more times that I can count. But it was never the end of the road.

Fail —> give up entirely = the formula for those that get stuck forever.

Fail — acknowledge —> iterate. This is the formula of the figure it outers.

The people who never figure it out don’t have a single baseline standard - Something that guides their day and actions and serves as the foundation for their personal success. They just drift through life like a plastic bag in the wind. For me, it’s fitness. My body. My training regimen. There is no compromise and I do not negotiate my goals. For others I’ve studied, it’s their morning writing routine. Their refusal to not make the daily calls or send the emails. Their nonnegotiable morning walk to clear and organize their thoughts. One clear standard is the infrastructure to everything else in their life. If there’s one thing I’ve seen across hundreds of people who have figured it out, it’s’ that they have one aspect of their life they refuse to negotiate on.

They’re brutally honest with themselves - Those who are stuck are almost always lying to themselves about something. They know it but they won’t admit it. Whether it’s what they’re afraid of, what’s holding them back or the one piece of the puzzle blocking their abilitly to move forward — they’re just not telling themselves the full truth.

Those who experience a breakthrough inevitably go through the moment(s) where they made the decision to stop bullshitting themselves and step up to the plate. Brutal honesty with yourself changes everything. Few are willing to do it. But the unavoidable fact is those that do will eventually figure it out.

They stopped treating other people’s success as evidence of their own failure - The comparison trap kills. People who don’t figure it out are silently demoralized by comparison. We’ve likely all experienced this at some point but the side of the ‘figure it out coin’ we end up is decided by how we choose to use that energy — to fuel frustration and demoralization, or to motivate and drive forward. “If others can do it why can’t I” is the tune ringing in the heads of those who figure it out while “I’m so far behind, I’ll never catch up” echoes in the head of those who never figure it out. As humans, at some point we all fall into this comparison mindset - what determines our success is what operating system we choose to use.

They do the work when nobody is watching - The people that figure it out feel this at their core. They don’t need an audience, they just do. Action regardless is a foundational principle in their life philosophy. The confused souls who remain lost for decades look for external validation and oftentimes need someones permission or stamp of approval to continue.

---

If you’ve made it this far what I want you to take from this is simple. You already know which side of your coin you’re on. The more you sit with it, the more the paradox reveals itself — the people who figure it out are the ones who got comfortable not knowing how.

The good news is that everything on this list comes down to making a decision. “What type of person do I want to be.” Make the decision until everything it becomes a part of who you are.

These subtle differences are not something you possess or lack. They’re something you consciously choose daily.

So who do you want to be?

---

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs it. And if you’re building something — I’d genuinely love to hear what it is.

Thanks for reading,

Ryan