The Busyness trap
A full calendar isn't the same as a full life
“How’s life been”
“Busy man”
All too often this is our response when speaking with a friend or colleague. We’ve all said and heard it. It’s almost as if we put being busy on a pedestal for personal progress. People seem to wear this as a badge of honor disguised as feeling like they’re progressing.
But here’s the problem: busy just means your time is full. It says nothing about whether what’s filling it actually matters.
If there’s anything I learned in the last 28 years, it’s that being busy isn’t something to strive for but all too often it is out default response.
The restaurant worker grinding 16-hour shifts to keep the lights on is objectively busy. So is the athlete who secretly hates their sport but got swept into a life they never chose. Busy didn’t give either of them what they were looking for. It just took up space and time. This is not want we want.
I was talking to my dad the other day - he turns 60 a year. In most measures he’s built a successful life. I asked him point blank
“You’ve pretty much gotten everything you’ve ever wanted. What are your goals now.”
“Personal peace” he said.
I felt that.
Instead of being busy, we should strive for the higher things in life — full engagement on things that matter to you, an intentional life, personal peace, purpose, growth with direction, aliveness, and presence. These aren’t byproducts of being busy, but rather the byproducts of a meaningful life.
Professor and happiness expert Arthur Brooks has an interesting take in his recent book “The Meaning of your life.”
Brooks argues in The Meaning of Your Life that rapid cultural and technological changes have actually rewired our brains, reducing our ability to perceive depth and purpose. We’re living in what he calls an “Age of Emptiness.” People aren’t just busy, they’re busy and empty at the same time. That’s the real crisis.
That’s the scientific underpinning for what we’re already sensing intuitively — busyness isn’t just a bad habit, it’s a symptom of a culture that has broken our ability to ask “why.”
In his book, Brooks identifies six things that restore meaning — asking big questions, cultivating love relationships, seeking beauty, finding your professional calling, transcending yourself, and not wasting your suffering.
Notice what’s not on that list? A packed schedule. Being busy for the sake of being busy.
The times I’ve made the most progress in my life are NOT the times I’ve been the busiest. they’re the times i was intentional, had a list of things on my plate that meant the most to me.
In a world dominated by technology, being busy cannot be the focus. The shift we need to make is from busy to intentional.
Don’t aim to be busy. Aim to be grounded in a life you love.
Thanks for reading
Ryan